It is my belief that the Lord always gives me what I need, exactly when I need it.  My current gig is in exchange for room and board which means I that I have to find alternative ways of making money.   Sometimes I edit business plans, other times I translate and record answering service scripts for businesses and occasionally Dad gives me a few bucks to do his laundry.  Recently, out of nowhere, I was offered the opportunity to work part-time as an Human Resources Administrator.

It seems that every time that I start getting comfortable being a stay at home mom/auntie I get a job offer that changes everything.   In 2011, I was caring for Nephew and starting a little routine for him when I got the opportunity to work in Property Management .  Worst job ever, yet I kept at it for a 13 months.   After that job ended I started caring for Niece and Nephew together for a few months until Nephew began preschool.   Later the routine included taking him to school while I cleaned the house, did the laundry, bought groceries, and other housewife-y chores while caring for Niece.  As a bonus I also got to pick up my teenage son from school and spend some time with him.  I also get to blog, surf the internet, focus on my health plus as a bonus I’ve been gifted an iPhone and a Kindle as gratitude for my efforts.  Watching Niece develop from a small, squirmy, whiny newborn into a bright and beautifully expressive 7 month-old has been an amazing experience.   We’ve developed a truly special bond.  She’s such a fun, happy baby!  All awesomely wonderful things.

On the other hand,  this isn’t my house and these are not my children.  

Son and I have everything we NEED here but I know this is not going to last forever.  In the meantime, I’m off the workforce, my skills and talents are not being used, I have little privacy, Brother and  Sister-in-law have little privacy.  I’ve witnessed more than I’ve ever wanted to witness or be a part of in their their relationship.  Their marriage is like a ticking time bomb that could implode at any moment.  Their business is also suffering.  Customers are unhappy and at least one of them is contemplating a civil suit.  Staying home to care for the kids helps them out but what happens to Son and I when/if they separate and/or the business goes bankrupt?   I love my family yet all things considered my first priority is to my son.  So, I’ve accepted the offer and submitted my application.  If all goes well I’ll have a paying job by the end of this week.

I feel so guilty though….going back to work means that the kid’s routine will be totally altered.  There is so much strife in their short lives already that I fear taking away what little stability they have will have a lasting negative impact on them.  There has to be a balance between what my family needs from me and what I need for myself and my son…